Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples
Emotionally Focused Therapy ( EFT ), is rapidly becoming the couple therapy of choice for counsellors, psychologists and therapists all over the world who work with couples.
It is a model of therapy that is systematic, well researched and one of the few couple therapies that has any sort of outcome data and success rate.
There has been a huge amount of research into couple relationships in the last 25 years and the good news is that we now understand how and why relationships go wrong as well as most importantly the most effective way to resolve them.
Giving couples better communication skills and weekly couple or date nights might seem to make sense but at the very best any improvement tends to be temporary and does not last.
What we need to do is get to the core and the crux of the issues and for this we need to look in a different place.
That place is in how we emotionally and relationally feel inside about our partner and ourself.
- Do you get angry yet underneath recognize that you might be feeling sad, alone,hopeless and that you do not matter?
- Do you shut down emotionally or physically withdraw when you may be feeling criticised, hear you are not getting it right, do not know how to fix the issue and want to avoid another fight?
- Do you end up feeling that you do not matter to your partner, are not important or desirable to them.
- Or perhaps you feel you are not a valuable and a sufficient partner, team player and co-pilot for your partner.
This can be some of the emotional music that is playing in us all when we get involved in repeating patterns of distress that we are not able to fix using all the tools at our disposal in our toolkit.
When unresolved over time it can wear away and deplete the feeling of love and closeness that makes that other person special. We can end up feeling angry, hopeless, helpless or even numb.
Emotionally Focused Therapy helps you gently but powerfully start exploring what is happening on the inside with you both.
It does not matter if you or your partner "are not very good with talking about emotions and feelings". The most important thing is to find out more about what the two of you are experiencing individually inside - how you are seeing things from your point of view.
The counsellor is empathic, does not take sides and assists you in feeling entitled to how you experience the issues in a way that helps you both feel heard.
To find out more please Call me on 07890 850563 or e-mail me at n.haynes54@gmail.com
